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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The First Amendment is alive and well in my house

I am a freelance writer. I don't make a great living at it yet but the work has been picking up and next year the IRS will be thrilled to know I'll make a profit. As a freelance writer, it astonishes me the number of people who think they have the right to tell said writers what they can and cannot write.

Case in point:

I had the great fortune in life to shed some dead weight from my life a couple of days ago. This dead weight was in the form of someone who was supposedly a friend. I say supposedly because, in hindsight, she was never really a friend. This girl has tremendous emotional problems for which she refuses to seek treatment. I didn't realize this until recently, which is why it took me a year to come to my senses.

See, this overgrown teenager uses her emotional problems to control her world, forcing everyone in her life to alter their treatment of her based on how she's feeling that day. Also, she likes to retreat into her cave. This is really okay because everyone needs a break, sometimes, from day-to-day life, but with her it's different. She is "in her cave" probably five days out of seven and the rest of the world suffers for it. She won't answer her phone, she won't respond to text messages, she refuses to look at her e-mail; it's all about her and the morass of despair from which she is suffering in any particular hour. Her kids have prettu much taken over most of the mundane household chores. Her husband is in the inenviable position of always having to take care of her needs, her wants, her whims, her desires. He gets almost nothing back from her in the way of emotional support. Don't get me wrong, she truly does love her husband and there would be no doubt this is true to anyone who remotely knows them. However, she relies on her husband for the most basic of emotional supports. I can't come up with anything off the top of my head but she is very draining emotionally and is what I call a "toxic" person. To know her for any length of time means she sucks the life out of you.

Now, most recently, I finally decided I couldn't be in a "friendship" that required a greater emotional effort on my part than the other person was willing to give. I believe that in any relationship the give and take is 100% on the part of both parties. If even one of the persons in it are unwilling to do this, give at LEAST 50%, it's time to cut your losses and move on.

And before I am accused of being a heartless person towards the disabled, I'm not. My husband suffers from mental issues and I've been with him for 16 years now. The differences are that we are married and he is aware enough of his issues that he is not only taking meds to counter them but he is in therapy to alter his awareness and behavior to a more acceptable level. This former "friend" of mine is absolutely aware of her issues but she refuses to do anything to change them, choosing instead for the rest of the world to alter their behavior to match her craziness. While she does take meds for an unrelated health situation, which I give her a great deal of props for, she refuses to address her emotional problems. Once she said to me, "You know I'm not great at the social thing." Um, yes I am, and so are you but you refuse to do anything to change it, causing a great deal of problems for those who love you.
I am a firm believer in making change when necessary as it is far better to make the world a better place than to be a blot that overshadows everything around you.

Anyway, it is now in the past, at least for now. She has some expensive items I "lent" her almost a year ago. I put lent in quotes because apparently loaning her something means, "Um, I know I'll probably never get this back so..." And I say for now because the things she has are things I use in my daily writing world to look for work. It has been a tremendous hindrance for me, not having access to these things and I found myself resenting her for it, which is part of the reason I had to cut her loose. I had been asking her for the stuff back for months, to no avail. This Monday, I find myself in the inenviable position of having to file against her and her husband in small claims for the replacement value of the items in question. While the dollar amount is small, just over $100, I really don't have the money to replace them and I shouldn't have to.

Now, here is the part where the First Amendment comes in... In one of her final rants, which she is extremely delighted to do as she is a MAJOR drama queen, she said something about my not being allowed to post anything negative about her. Um, what? I think I can write whatever I want so long as malice is not involved. I think her name was left out of this entirely so no one outside of she and I know who I'm talking about. I am permitted to vent however I want, so long as it doesn't violate the rules laid forth by the Supreme Court and believe me when I say, this doesn't come close. I've had other people try to tell me what I can and cannot write, as though they and they alone are responsible for all public forums, seeking out entries that are deemed "acceptable" by them.

I believe a friend is there for you when you need the shoulder to cry on, the need for a solution to a problem that could come from a friend or just to let you rant about some injustice in the world. I believe my "friend" was only available when "she" needed these things and the rest of the time she was holed up talking, e-mailing and chatting with her on-line friends; you know, the ones with no real emotional involvement beyond lines on a page. These are the safe friends as they live in another world and she isn't required to have any real attachment to them. In short, they are just as shallow as she is, not wanting any real friendships to form as those come with an expectation of involvement beyond a glowing computer screen.

I wish this child well and hope she can evenatually obtain the peace of mind and wellness she needs to become a productive member of society. When she was "there", she was great. She could make me laugh in spite of myself and she had better than average intelligence, which was a welcome change to the idiocy that is prevalent in today's society. I'll miss her for that but what I won't miss is her cavalier attitude towards anyone who isn't her, her passive aggressive nature and her using her emotions in a P/A way to feed her need to control her world.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

This might be a bit personal but...

After several weeks of enduring something that's been going on here, I've finally decided to blog about this, in the hopes it will put an end to what's happening. As I write this, there will be more than some bitterness attached to this and, if you read it, will understand why.

Now, here's the personal part... My husband, several years ago, had an affair with a co-worker. It turns out it was the wife of someone I graduated from High School with and we were both of us deeply affected by the whole thing. The husband of this whore was someone I grew up with, his mother was my girl scouts leader, his sister was good friends with my sister, we all attended the same church in Medway, OHour entire life while we lived there. Well, except the slut that slept with my husband... I don't know she'll ever be able to walk into a church again without worrying about lightening striking.

Anyway, my husband made the choice to end the affair months before I found out about it and it was this white trash's inability to accept that fact that was their downfall. She wouldn't stop pursuing my husband, in spite of his best efforts to get her to understand it was over. She was caught by her husband with some e-mails asking my husband to meet with her and his refusals. She was finally let go from her employers but couldn't leave without hugging him goodbye. See, I let their supervisor know what was going on and they were under strict orders to stay away from each other, something this piece of trash couldn't/wouldn't do. She was finally fired over it.

However, the reason I write all this now, several years later, is because she is still trying to get in touch with him by visiting my blog fairly regularly. I have a tracker on this site that tells me who visits, from where and when. She shows up in the tracker about once a week or so as having been a visitor. I wish I could remember her name since posting it here would start putting it in search engines, allowing her to google her name and helping the world to know just what she's been up to. But, we have worked so hard here to remove this piece of gutter trash from our lives and memories that my husband can't remember her name either.

All this being said, this next part is for the porky slut that won't let go after seven years - My husband has made it ABUNDANTLY clear he wants nothing to do with you. He didn't want anything to do with you while we were still in Ohio, he doesn't want anything to do with you now that we are in Arizona. Should I see again via my tracking device here on the site that you have visited me, I intend to call Bill and let him know you are doing this, probably in the hopes you will find the information as to how to contact my husband. See, I still talk to your husband from time to time, him being an old family friend. My sister is still in touch with your sister-in-law from time to time, her being an old family friend and all. Unless you want this to blow up in your face, it will all be told.

Now, for the rest of you, this little speck of fly shit told my husband she would never leave her husband because she didn't want to lose the house they bought earlier. I let her husband know this, that the only thing holding them together was the house. I also offered to testify on his behalf should they ever get a divorce, Ohio being a grounds state and all, thereby allowing him to retain not just the house and money but the kids as well. He married a skanky slut who can't keep it in her pants and he needs to know.

For anyone who happens to stumble across this posting with the intention of finding out whether or not your significant other is cheating, I lend this advice:
  1. If you are the cheater and have gotten away with it - you will feel guilty about it if it's one of the first. Don't tell your significant other out of some sense of obligation. You'll feel better but your significant other will feel like crap.
  2. Don't cheat in the first place.
  3. As the one being cheated on - if you think it's happening, it probably is. People say the wife is the last one to know. That's not true. They are just the last one to admit it out loud.

I guess that's all for now. Again, to the whore, slut, gutter trash piece of crap that won't leave my husband I alone, this is the only warning you're going to get. Let it go or I WILL call your husband.