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Thursday, January 09, 2014

Aspies LOVE pornography, but don't like sex with you

Pornography is literature designed to be read with one hand. ~Angela Lambert (1990)
I really get kind of tired of all these "generalizations" related to Aspies, but are they still generalizations if they're true?  Is it a stereotype if all of them do it?  Or is it a fact of Asperger's?  It seems Aspies really dig porn.  To the exclusion of a real relationship with their spouse, who would happily get naked for them.  And it would seem that Aspies would also rather masturbate than engage in sex with their spouse.

I really don't have an explanation for this that would even approach anything scientific or based on empirical evidence, just a theory.

My theory is - Aspies prefer pornography and masturbation because there's no expectation in all of it.  With your spouse, you're required to meet their needs.  You're required to talk to them.  You're required to interact.  You're required to maybe take part in a little pillow-talk afterward.  You're required to actually touch them.  Also, Aspies suffer from low self esteem.  If their partner tells them it was wonderful, that starts a whole "thing" in their head.  Did they really mean it? Were they just lying to me so as to not hurt my feelings?  Was I really awful and they're just not telling me?    Did I touch them right?  Did I touch them too much?  Did I touch them not enough?  Did I kiss okay?  Aspies over think EVERYTHING! Right down to the end.  I would imagine sex with their spouse would bring on days and days of anxiety related to just that, much less all the other crap they have going on in their head.  I remember telling a friend once that sex with my STBE was as though he'd read in a book how to do it step-by-step.

With porn and masturbation, it's just them.  They already know what they like.  They already know what it takes to get them to the end.  With porn, they can look and get turned on and the other person isn't demanding of them they make them happy, or even slightly okay with it all.

Also, some Aspies have sensory issues and don't like to be touched.  Maybe sex with someone other than themselves is simply too much touching?

Nope, porn followed by some rigorous masturbation suits them right down to the ground.  No human interaction at all, except with them.

I'm not too sure there's much more that can be said about this.  It's pretty self explanatory.  If you're married to an Aspie, be ready to be told "No" a lot to your initiating sex and be ready for them to be in front of the computer screen the entire time they're home since they gotta have that porn.